Same old Tired lonely Place

I was very cranky this afternoon.

Sometimes I get that way. I'm tired, or things haven't gone how I've wanted them to go, or I was frustrated by something. This afternoon the fire alarm went off when I was studying at college in my favorite place, so I had to leave it and study in a cramped hallway. Then in French class my teacher went off about how it was relative if people should be conformist or nonconformist and if either of them actually had a solid definition. Then I wasn't done with school or piano because I'd had to study in the morning for a Biology test.

The thing that began to lift me out of my crankiness was when I was complaining that I was cranky and I wanted a hug, and my nephew came over and snuggled his head into my chest.

It was so sweet. A little corner of my hurting, cranky heart began to feel better.

So what now? I've known forever that I'm extremely rigid. That when things don't go just my way, or a normal way, I get out of sorts. I've known forever that I should change. Now I wonder, if I change, maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't get cranky because of these things. They would roll off my back, and I'd be able to smile through the rough parts.

That idea makes me smile. So I think I'll start trying to change. How? The best way I can think is to smile and stay happy and depending on God when the bad things happen. To consciously think, "I'm giving my studies to you, God. You'll help me get them done when they have to be done," when I get off track with schoolwork or am interrupted. To think, "Other people in the world think differently than me. Let me listen and take the good that I can from them, but depend on you for truth, God," when people are annoying and relative.

Then, you know what? Instead of being cranky and hating my night, I'll be able to say,

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone."

Hats and Cuties!

Don't you love littl'uns? I don't appreciate them enough. Then I have a sweet, fun moment with my niece or nephew and I feel all gooey and loving inside.

I know a girl who doesn't like kids. But can you see a sweet smile like that and not melt? I pity the person that can. Sure, they can be holy terrors, but my niece and nephew are my holy terrors! And sometimes they can be cute and fun. Sophia (2 and a half) and I had a jolly time with my hat yesterday.

Wyatt (Sophia's older brother) is five, and he can be capitally awful. But he can also be perfectly debonaire! He hates to see me cry. I was talking about some rough issues with my sister the other day and started crying cause I'm emotional. He was over to me in an instant, wondering what was wrong. Even though I reassured him that I was okay, he took it upon himself to cheer me up and would not stop singing and dancing until I stopped crying. Even then he was still worried! :)

Even though I don't like my nieces and nephew alot of the time, I always love them.

-Tina

Little lights sparkling, falling snow glittering...

Drumroll, please!

It's winter! But then, you knew that. Where I am, it's been winter for almost an entire month! The snow is still coating the ground, and today at noon the clouds dusted us with just a bit more.

I love snow. I don't like cold much, but I love snow, so I can tolerate the cold if I can have the snow. I really do hope that it stays up until Christmas. Don't you hate it when you have a green christmas? I mean in the north, when it's not merely green but nasty, grayish-brownish-green.

Regardless of snow, however, I'm excited about Christmas. This year my little niece and nephew are going to be here for Christmas morning, and I'm beyond excited to see them waking up early and yelling in excitement over their stocking. When we trimmed the tree last Saturday (which they were here for) it was awesome to see the two of them concentrating so very hard to put the ornaments on the tree. Too cute.

I love my family alot. I'm really grateful that I have a cool family that loves me, and more importantly, that I can talk to. I was thinking to myself, and I honestly believe myself to be serious, that if I had every present I wanted and no family except my parents to celebrate Christmas with, it'd be a pretty sucky Christmas. I would much rather have my brothers and sisters home for Christmas and no presents.

Luckily we've got the happy medium, hey?

Merry Christmas, everyone!

-Tina