"Home is a boxcar, and it's so far out of reach..."

Number 1:

This is the future: I'm leaving home in four months. Four. September? Nice to meet you and then I leave you.

I'm scared, to tell the truth. The closer I get, the more real it becomes. Up until this point, it's felt like a vague excitement, not quite real. It is real, though. I'm going to leave for months and months.

Is this what college feels like at first? I'll be at a school where I know no one. I know I can make friends. I've got to trust that I can at least, or else I've got no hope and I'll feel awful about college.

I'm going to learn to do what I love. That's my consolation; and maybe, just maybe one day I'll be able to do what I love as a career. I hope so.

Number 2:

I wrote an entire power rangers TV show pilot! Of course, I'm masquerading it as something other than Power Rangers, and it'll be superior to anything that Power Rangers can churn out-- but still. It's the fulfillment of a dream, and that feels so sweet, like a taste of sugar on my lips.

Perhaps, if more dreams don't turn to dust, I'll film a short movie this summer. Oh, I hope so. I just wish that the film people of Grand Rapids would come out of the woodwork and collaborate with me. It would be so awesome if that happened.

Number 3:

I love music, and have started to like some new bands. I first started listening to Owl City about a year ago and loved "Fireflies", but that was only the tip of the iceberg. I liked some of his other stuff, but apparently it improves with age because I've fallen headfirst into an Owl City fandom in listening to his beautiful music. He's a very good artist in that he has lyrics like poetry and music that's so interestingly mixed.

Number 4:

I'm starting to be okay with not being in love or not having boys flirting with me or wanting to go on dates with me. For awhile I thought that I would cave in and break because I wasn't getting love from that outside source, from a boy-- but I've come to be satisfied by God where I am and with how I am loved right now. I've got to be satisfied with myself and the love I've got in God before a man comes into my life. Otherwise it'll be like I'm searching for fulfillment in places other than God. It'll be like I think that a boy can fulfill me and love me better than God can. That's not true, and I need to constantly learn that, every day.

So that's my life right now! I'm doing my best to finish my schoolwork so that I can be done with High School forever, but I'm dreaming of June and the time that I'll have already finished. Those daydreams make me a little less inclined to do the work I've got to do to get there. :P

Talk to ya'll later!

-Tina