Speaking ill of the Dead

You've probably all heard it, whether it was in real life, the movies, or on tv. "Don't speak ill of the dead!"

People are reluctant to talk badly of someone when they've died, because, naturally, they can't defend themselves. They're dead.

But what if the person was a jerk? What if they were totally awful during their life? I feel as though people only say nice things about them once they're dead. It seems hypocritical. They were ready to speak their mind about them when they were alive. Must they load on this fake complimentery or imagined praise on the person when they are dead?

It's a difficult subject. What do you say? That you're alright that they died, cause they're in heaven now? They were awful! How do you say that? Then, it doesn't seem right to say, "Yeah, they're burning in Hell now. Good riddance." People would brand you as callous forever.

The best thing I can think to do is to just keep silent. Lying isn't worth it, even to honor the dead. Be truthful in all things. That doesn't mean say EXACTLY what is on your mind; just to know when to speak and when not to.

Will this be perfect? Will this suffice? Who knows? It's my best solution, but things like this are tricky.

AND: I know this is a really, really weird subject to write about on Christmas, but the thought occurred to me after we ate dinner. I may bring it up again.

Just to end the post on a good note, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

An Adventure!

"What? An adventure? Surely you jest!"

"Surely I don't!"

"But an adventure can't happen in our day and age!"

"Want to put money on that?"

It's true. I went on an adventure last weekend.

It was my first car trip all by my self-- and sheesh, I went 200 miles away from home? The destination?

chicago!

Yeah, man! I'm absolutely crazy, because you know what I did? I drove two-hundred miles to go see a movie with people that I have NEVER met in my LIFE!

I knew them in a way. I met them through a site called NarniaWeb, an awesome Narnia Movie News site and Discussion Forum that is the cleanest and most fun forum I've EVER been on. Seriously-- the people there are so nice! I know it's really hard to trust people on the internet, and most people would think I was nuts (and you're probably thinking it right now) that I voluntarily went (alone) to meet them in a strange city, but I did it anyways.

A little history, to clarify the extent of my nuttiness:

My parents, my sister, and I went to a "Lion" Party (play on "Line" party) for the Narnia movie Prince Caspian back in 2008. There we had arranged to meet a few NarniaWebbers (translation: people from NarniaWeb) and see the movie together and then go get lunch. It was a wonderful experience; the people were really nice and we had a really fun time discussing our lives, getting to know each other, and watching the movie.

Then, to make a long story short, we went with some different NarniaWebbers to a Lord of the Rings Movie Event in my city where a symphony played the movie score as the movie played on a big screen. My dad even asked them to stay at our house (which is typically considered NUTS) and it turned out great! The people were really, really nice, and I love them to pieces.

They came to a different Symphonic Event this past year, so basically, the stage was set for the lion party. Why? We had met many different NarniaWebbers on multiple occasions, and they were ALL great people. That gave me pretty good odds that people from the same site that had also seemed nice in their online persona would be good and nice and un-dangerous.

So I went! What an adventure! Even though we had had good odds before, would this time be the horror story?

No! Aside from getting lost twice on the way to Chicago, I had a perfectly marvelous time! All of the people there were really nice, especially the one who had organized the party. I single her out in particular because I was sitting next to her and got to actually talk to her for a while. It was really fun, too, that she had sisters that were my age! I'm hoping to see if I can get their e-mails or home addresses and be pen-pals with them; they were SUPER fun.

Well, that's my adventure! Crazy, wild, random, and totally awesome! You have to take risks to get places sometimes. I wasn't going in cold, but I never knew what would happen. Then and again, I was prepared, and not being stupid like getting in their car or going off alone with one of them from the group.

You always hear horror stories about web-stalkers, and I know that's true, but I've had some marvelous times with people I've met from online, and I'm very glad. :)

-Tina

So that I want to SCREAM

Anger is my achilles heel, my greatest weakness. Yeah, I don't hold grudges with people after I'm angry with them, but my anger burns bright and hot while I'm in the midst of a fiery passion.

How do I live with that? I get so angry that I yell and say hurtful things that I regret later. It takes a pretty good amount to fan my anger up into top-notch heat, but once it's there, It's hard to get rid of until I've done something completely stupid.

It wasn't until this week that I really learned how much of a weakness this is for me. It's like a cobra, hiding under my skin and striking when I least expect it, and the strike is so fast that I don't really realize what happened.

Why did the revelation come? I did something horrible out of anger this week, something I didn't think I could do, and it scared me. I scared myself, the night after I did the thing. I apologized, and I meant it; but the potential that I could do something that bad? Yeah, it was there.

When I went to confession this past Saturday, I was shaking in my boots with fear. I've heard that it takes courage to confess your sins, but I hadn't felt the need for that courage until recently. I felt ashamed of myself; ashamed to tell our parish priest of how horrible I had been.

Know what's strange, though? Men are not ashamed at all to sin and do the WRONG thing, but when they are faced with doing the right thing that is looked on as honorable, they are stricken with complete shame and embarrassment. I read that in a book, and it makes sense. Figure that one out, it's so strange and backwards.

It was this quote from the book I read that kept me going, strangely enough, and I made it into confession and confessed my sins. The best thing was, God came through. You know, He promises to do that, and I say I believe Him, but most of the time I'm trusting blindly and hoping that it'll remain true this time-- not really knowing. Each time He does come through, it makes me glad that I took the step of faith and trusted.

I feel so much more clean now. I do understand why Protestants think it'd be weird to confess your sins to someone else, but mostly I think that's because of shame. In going to confession, I'm not letting that hold me down. In 1 Peter, Peter told the early Christians to confess their sins to one another. I'm doing that, and you know what? I learned this week that it can be REALLY scary. Then and again, I learned that It's so GOOD as well.

Cause I didn't tell you that it lifted a huge burden off my soul to know that right there, right then, God forgave me. He wiped my soul clean and incinerated the cloth He wiped it with.

As for my anger, I'm not exactly sure what to do with it. I want to scream about it sometimes, I'm so frustrated; but I'm taking it to God in prayer. He'll know what to do. I'll try to calm down, to breathe, to love others like God would-- and your prayers would be wonderful as well.

Love you all!

-Tina