Do you believe in Magic?

"Oh, oh, oh, it's magic! you know...never believe it's not so!"

Magic has intrigued me my whole life. In it is embodied endless possibilities, but most of all the concept that anything could happen, anything at all. It's exciting and new and admit it, wouldn't anyone love to be able to have magical powers? But it's never taken the place of God.

There have been numerous books, movies, tv shows, even documentaries about magic. As Christians, how do we respond to them? I wasn't aware that it was even a question until about a year ago. Of course, there was Harry Potter--that was anathema in my house--but that seemed to me a different sort of magic and I never dreamed that anyone could denounce magic in storytelling wholesale.

They do, though. A friend of mine won't go near the Narnia books and flatly refuses to watch Merlin, a TV show that has many, many merits, in my opinion. She holds that scripture is very clear that sorcery is evil, and we should avoid it everywhere--certainly not voluntarily go near it, or invite it into our homes.

That has been incomprehensible to me, especially as she won't explain all of her reasons to me. She's said that magic and witchcraft are bad, but not much beyond that--and up until today, I was still pretty confused.

Today, in Mass, the priest giving the homily (sermon) spoke on magic in the media--Harry Potter and the BBC's Merlin, specifically--and how it hurt people by telling them that the fake world filled with magic was better than their own, that it made them apathetic about our world, desiring fantasy, rather than live a good life seeking after God here and now in reality.

I was skeptical of the whole idea and was tempted to write him off. Yet yes, we should not see magic as an escape, of a be-all and end-all. It's not what we should be seeking after, that's true.

When I watch a movie, however, the magic is not what I aspire to. I live through the characters in the story and my favorite part of sharing their experience is not the magic; that is merely part of their world. It is going through their experiences, feeling their triumphs and failures, learning with them, growing with them, feeling sad with them.

I sat down and prayed about it this afternoon and here's what I came up with: believing in magic in our world may be bad, but it is not evil in fantasy and alternate realities.

Magic is bad in our world if it is not connected with the movement of God. Searching for it would be like looking for an alternate source of power rather than accepting that God is in control of everything. It would be trying to rebel, because it is not a part of the natural order of things for us as humans.

Magic may not be bad in alternate worlds or in fantasy because for their world, it may be a part of the natural order. It may be a born-in trait or learned skill such as being double-jointed or chemistry. If so, it is not having the gift or even using it that determines if it's good or bad. It's how you use it, as with any skill, with any passion. You can be an excellent chemist, but if you use your knowledge of chemistry to kill someone, your actions are even. You can be righteously angry, but if you let that anger control you, you're in trouble and people are going to get hurt.

Look at superheroes. They have 'magical' powers, but they are only considered superheroes if they use their powers for good. A world with magic is like our world; the people there are simply different from us because they have talents we do not have.

My final thoughts? Writing magic in fantasy is not wrong. It depends on how you do it. What are your opinions?

-Tina

Turn around

"You don't have to take the broken road. You can turn around and come back home."

I've had the mentality that because I have started acting a certain way in a situation or relationship, I have to keep acting that way. I'm a writer, and I've drilled character consistency into my writing so hard that I've ended up drilling it into myself. Yet that's not how we're meant to be as humans, is it? We're meant to change, to grow. I embrace that growth if it's going to Mass more often or praying more regularly, but when it comes to living every day and changing how I act in relationships, I'm scared to change.

Honestly, will they think I'm weird if I pull back when I realize I've been flirting too much? When I've been grumpy? I get mired in my own muck and unconsciously tell myself that it's too bad for me to feel that way because once I've begun treating someone a certain way, I can't change.

Why should that stop me from changing anyways if it's RIGHT? It shouldn't. In theory, I'm willing to try this change, but in practice, I feel so weak.

Politicians probably feel like this a lot. When they make a mistake, it's held over them for their entire career, even if it happened decades ago. How is that fair? Humans are meant to change! Regardless of my hold-up with it, change for the better is to be encouraged, and it is definitely not impossible! If people don't believe that, people will never change for the better because they'll believe they can't.

You don't have to be stuck in a rut. You can turn around. You can change. And one of the ways that you can help others and yourself to do it too is to believe that you and they can.

-Tina

These lonely lullabies...

If I could forget home, I would be worried about myself, and in no way do I want to be able to; yet this dull ache really hurts. It's the week of Thanksgiving, and I'm lonely and homesick.

We don't have any traditions in particular traditions at home for Thanksgiving, but just being there was enough. It's like being cradled in a very warm and soft blanket, or being held by your daddy. You feel safe and warm and content-- happy.

I'm going to my sister's house here in San Diego on Wednesday, but until then, I'm just hanging out at school and working on homework. It's lonely.

Do you know, when I'm lonely, I stay up very late? I don't really know why. Just staying on the computer makes me feel as though I have a connection to the world, and if I let go I feel vulnerable. I haven't done that since I was at home. Funny-- I still felt lonely at home. I suppose why it seems more significant is that I haven't felt that way here and haven't stayed up late for that reason until last night. Even so, I miss home.

I do love my school. I'm meant to be here; I've been feeling that strongly. Still- I miss it. It's the familiarity, and the routine, and the people, and how it's relaxed and regular.

I thought last night -- as I was threatening to wallow in self-pity-- about how people all over the world feel particularly sad on holidays because their family members or spouses have died. I feel a little of how they must feel, I think, though not so strongly. They must hurt more than I do. I prayed for them, and that was good. It's like I'm being lonely with people, and then we're not lonely anymore.

-Tina

Mess of Me

People in film are notorious for being unable to keep up relationships, to hold families together-- to even date for extended periods of time. Ever thought about why?

Most [Christian] people would say it's because they don't know God, and that's why the relationship doesn't stick. Legit answer, that, I'll give you; but it's not entirely right.

It's the mindset rather than the method that's messed up here. Do any of you (quite honestly) know how many hours a filmmaker spends working on a production each day? Give me a guess. Eight? Ten? Twelve?

It's higher. The average is 15+ hours of work on the set.

That is insane. That barely allows time for SLEEP, much less family and relationships.

Filmmakers have deadlines, and they work like crazy before production, during, and after. Then they start a new production.

Their life is their work. Relationships require effort to work out, and they can't give them that.

Actors have it similarly, though not as bad. When working on a film, they're putting in long days too, and their contracts often require them to go in to re-film certain scenes after the movie is over, or to record voice-overs. It's a long process; really long.

This mindset of work as all important is a big mess. It's a misplacement of priorities and I'm out to change it. Lord, show us what MATTERS!

-Tina

We caught onto something...

In that song, Taylor Swift starts off singing, "Once upon a time...", and that's what I'm going to say to you.

Once upon a time,

I believe it was a Sunday night when I was trying

to avoid my homework

was looking on the line

saw a cool commercial for a show I thought I'd like

thought you'd want to see it too cause we

want to avoid the crap that's always on tv

maybe catch on to something

I hold on to the night

October 23rd, at eight-oh EST,

oh oh...

Check it out!

Bring Your Kingdom

Here I am, world, in California at last! I'm all moved into my room, which I share with a wonderful girl named Carol. My parents came to drop me off/help move me in, but though they're here in California until Tuesday, they said good-bye today. (they're staying with my brother-in-law's family, who, along with him, live in town)

It's surreal, and emotional, and hard. Right now I'm listening to Owl City for the first time in my bedroom, and it feels so strange and, call me silly, almost inaugural. It's a foreshadowing of what's going to come, that many nights I might be doing the same thing; typing away at my computer and listening to music. Weird.

We had some really inspiring speeches by members of the faculty and staff (is that redundant?) of the school yesterday. It was good to remember that my focus at this school has to be Christ first, and then everything else will fall into place. Our society in the U.S. is so complacent. We're living in a world filled with muck and dung and we're ignoring it. The worst of us are even pretending to enjoy it, but that doesn't fulfill in the end, and they'll realize that.

Us film people at my school are going to be the ones jumping on the laps of all of these complacent people, and shouting in their faces to MAKE THEM LISTEN. We won't shut up; we won't ever shut up. People don't listen anymore. They don't want to hear the problems, about the pain, about the fact that babies are being killed every day and that there are 20 million people still slaves (literal slaves) in this world. They've got to hear it, though. We can't make a change by ourselves. We're meant to go out and get help.

I know a lot of people believe that the world is going to hell in a handbasket and that there's no hope for it. They write off the majority of humanity, our government, the media, and seem to think that if all that burned to the ground and we had room to start over, that would be the best way to change the world. To recreate it.

Maybe that would be easier. Maybe. Maybe it would be easier just to be good and follow God faithfully and just naysay that problems in the world. Probably. Yet that's not what I plan to do, nor what I think the rest of the world should do. We've got one world, and our goal should be to bring it to Christ. Not just to change it, for better or for worse. To bring it to Christ, to change hearts toward Him. To show the world that only Christ truly fulfills that gnawing gap inside everyone. To be missionaries in the world so that Christ can bring His kingdom.

I'm not saying that Christ couldn't do it without us, but He's not going to do it in the lives of people who don't love Him, don't care about Him, or flat-out reject Him. I want the world to know the love of Christ. I'm not going to write off the most sinful creatures humanity has to offer. I want to be an instrument of Christ, to be a part of His plan for the redemption of humanity.

Bring Your Kingdom, Lord!

-Tina

p.s., I'm going to be posting a lot more now that I'm in college to keep people updated on my life. Stay tuned! :)

Be thankful for what precious locks you have!

Starting with "Rugs From Me to You" by Owl City is appropriately fun for talking about my interesting customers at Panera Bread. I got the job, and I work there now!

The first interesting ones were from a group of seniors. The lady in charge drafted me into setting up a row of tables--"ten come sometimes, but twelve other times...let's just set up for twelve..."

So I did, chatting with her all the while as I looked at a bag of things they (presumably) were planning to use-- "we go up and down this street every Monday night!"-- I thought it sounded like fun. They sure seemed to be having a ball! We must've had twelve seniors in that row of tables lined up between a booth and a set of chairs. As I told my coworker, "They're the old people who do aging right and make us jealous." Mmhm. I loved them.

Then there was an excellent old man who leaned his arms on the glass above me as I pulled out pastries to restock our pastry display plates--

"You got a lot of pastries down there?"

"Yep, just restocking them!"

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"Going to college soon, then?"

"Yeah, in September. My college starts late and ends late."

"Where are you going?"

"California--"

"Oh!"

"--for film school. I'm going to learn to write for movies." (smiling)

"How long does that take, then?"

"Four years to get a bachelors degree-- unless I decide to get my masters degree. Who knows?"

The man smiles at me conspiratorially, like an old crony, "I got my masters degree."

"Wow, really?"

"Even beyond that! Don't I look it?" There's a twinkle in his eye.

"Oh, of course!" There's a twinkle in my eye.

"Now," Getting down to business now, "I want you to pick out the best pecan roll for me."

"All right!"

"Make sure you choose right, now! I'm taking it with me to go. Do you like them?"

"Yes, I do. They're one of my favorite pastries. So sticky and gooey and delicious!"

"My mom used to make them for me."

So I got him his roll (the very best one) and gave it to him in a bag with a napkin, fork, and knife. He was so cool. I liked how he took the time to talk with me.

THEN TODAY I met a woman named Carrie who decided that she wanted a chocolate chip cookie along with her pick-up order-- "You can sprinkle some fertility pills on that cookie for me!" (me: ....)--she's on the phone, so whoever's on the other line asks a question-- "yeah, just told her she can put some fertility pills on my cookie so I can have a baby!"

I wanted to tell her I would pray for her, and that was better, but you know-- sometimes I think it's better if you resolve to do it and don't say anything, especially when you're at work and it's not a Christian workplace. Praying for her, and I hope you'll pray too!

So those are my funny customers: bald, distinguished with several degrees, and wanting a baby! If I meet some more (and I'm sure I will!) I'll post about them, too!

-Tina

p.s., linking up with the draftless challenge over at Dramatic Elegance. :)