So, flirting.
Everyone seems to do it. It seems like just a fact of life, that every girl and guy does it to each other if there's even a little bit of attraction between them.
It's not considered "wrong", either. Not usually. Not if it's friendly flirting with people you know.
But just because something is not "wrong", does that make it "right"?
It seems to me that when you flirt with a guy (as a girl), that guy is led to believe that since you flirt with him, you likely flirt with other guys. I've heard this from a guy, so I'm not just speculating. Strike one against the girl. That doesn't make the guy feel special.
Some people say that flirting encourages the guy. Well, if the guy doesn't like you enough to come out and pursue you, then any amount of encouragement isn't going to do anything. If a guy really, really likes a girl, even though he's shy, he'll be willing to go right up to her. If he doesn't, he's not worth your time.
Finally, guys love the challenge of pursuing a girl. When a girl is flirting, she's throwing herself at him, though it's in a minor way. If she's already all there for him, where is the challenge? There isn't any. Why should he be interested for the right reasons? For your mind, for the excitement of discovering your personality? He wouldn't be.
So, flirting.
It doesn't seem to me to be a good way to start a relationship, or even as a way to present yourself to a man. I'm resolving to just be comfortable in myself around men and not be overly comfortable or overly tense. Just to be myself in God and to love men as brothers. God'll take it from there and we'll go onto the next step in relationships when a man gets up the gumption to pursue me.
-Tina
p.s., lots of this was inspired by the book How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul by Jason & Crystalina Evert, which is a great book. It has a cheesy title, but it's very well written and so applicable to life.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Ablaze With Wondrous Things
These latest posts have been titled with Owl City lyrics for a very good reason.
This is that I absolutely love Owl City. He's an excellent artist, he produces and mixes his own work, and he's very creative. Plus his music stirs new ideas up inside me. It's really wonderful.
His newest CD, All Things Bright And Beautiful, came out today! I hopped on over to my favorite bookstore in town and found it with the help of a sales associate because their organizing system is really awful. You'd think that on the first day of its release they'd put it on the New Release stand, but no! They have no taste.
For me, his songs have to be digested. I listen the first time and get a vague feel for it, but every time I listen after that, it's like I'm discovering a new layer of his intent with the music, and the emotions he means to stir up in the listener. Maybe just the emotions and feelings that are stirred up in me.
An example of this was something I discovered while listening to "Galaxies" for the tenth time the other day. I heard this bit:
"Oh, telescope, keep an eye on my only hope
lest I blink and be swept off the narrow road,"
I never thought of it before, but he sounds like he's reminding himself to keep an eye on God so he stays on the straight and narrow. Wow.
Right now I'm listening to my new CD for the very first time. It's really great and fun so far. His music is fresh and clean and bright and, well, beautiful! I love "Angels"-- it's so beautiful and has a great melodic line.
So there's my fandom and my big, enormous excitement about a whole new CD. I love new CDs that have songs on them that I've never, ever listened to.
Have a lovely night/day!
-Tina
This is that I absolutely love Owl City. He's an excellent artist, he produces and mixes his own work, and he's very creative. Plus his music stirs new ideas up inside me. It's really wonderful.
His newest CD, All Things Bright And Beautiful, came out today! I hopped on over to my favorite bookstore in town and found it with the help of a sales associate because their organizing system is really awful. You'd think that on the first day of its release they'd put it on the New Release stand, but no! They have no taste.
For me, his songs have to be digested. I listen the first time and get a vague feel for it, but every time I listen after that, it's like I'm discovering a new layer of his intent with the music, and the emotions he means to stir up in the listener. Maybe just the emotions and feelings that are stirred up in me.
An example of this was something I discovered while listening to "Galaxies" for the tenth time the other day. I heard this bit:
"Oh, telescope, keep an eye on my only hope
lest I blink and be swept off the narrow road,"
I never thought of it before, but he sounds like he's reminding himself to keep an eye on God so he stays on the straight and narrow. Wow.
Right now I'm listening to my new CD for the very first time. It's really great and fun so far. His music is fresh and clean and bright and, well, beautiful! I love "Angels"-- it's so beautiful and has a great melodic line.
So there's my fandom and my big, enormous excitement about a whole new CD. I love new CDs that have songs on them that I've never, ever listened to.
Have a lovely night/day!
-Tina
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Should we up and go with him?
No way!
I conform in life. You conform in life.
It's when you swallow your opinions and beliefs for the sake of someone else, or to not offend someone else. Or because everyone else is doing something else.
Conforming isn't all bad, you know. Shutting up about how much you adore the President of France in the presence of someone who absolutely hates him is a kindness. Not being blatantly rude with the force of your opinions is just decent.
But changing the way you live? The way you think? Because it's cool? Because that's the way it's done? Because it's normal that way?
I'm sorry, but that's not okay with me.
People can say that they mean to impact culture. Great! I'm glad that they have that goal! But what do they do about it? Do exactly the same things that everyone in the culture already does, cause that's the way it's done. That's how to get popular. That's not an impact. That's becoming a chameleon.
Popularity is often the result of someone conforming. People like people that are similar to them, that don't challenge their ideas or "judge" them. Making an impact is very unpopular sometimes. Martin Luther King was killed. So was Lincoln. So were many popes. For that matter, so was God.
Conforming does not have to be to doing something that you don't like. Oh yes, you can like the thing that you're conforming to. You can like getting to see all of those cool movies or listening to that music, or going to that concert, but the fact of the matter is that we're called to something more.
I want to change the world. This weekend, I was presented with a choice. Go do something that I really wanted to do, or not do it and go for the greater good. The thing wasn't inherently bad. It even had some good parts. But when I looked at myself in real honesty, I knew that it would be an occasion of sin for me. I knew that, but I wanted to do it anyways.
So I'm not going to do it-- I'm gonna choose something different, something healthier. It's so hard to go beyond just being moral. To make an impact by being that one person who is different, who searches amid all of the muck in the world for that one bit of shine and beauty, for the great rather than the usual.
I'm not going to be popular because of these choices. But yesterday I was venting to my dad how much I hated conformism and settling for the normal, for the usual, and then I started doing the same thing and realized that I was being a hypocrite. Great move, me. I stopped partially because I felt guilty about it, but I guess that was one way that God showed me that I ought to stop.
So. Even when the situation's awfully dim and we feel that we should up and go with the other guy who's getting all the great stuff by conforming to the world, we should bite the bullet and say, "NO WAY!"
-Tina
I conform in life. You conform in life.
It's when you swallow your opinions and beliefs for the sake of someone else, or to not offend someone else. Or because everyone else is doing something else.
Conforming isn't all bad, you know. Shutting up about how much you adore the President of France in the presence of someone who absolutely hates him is a kindness. Not being blatantly rude with the force of your opinions is just decent.
But changing the way you live? The way you think? Because it's cool? Because that's the way it's done? Because it's normal that way?
I'm sorry, but that's not okay with me.
People can say that they mean to impact culture. Great! I'm glad that they have that goal! But what do they do about it? Do exactly the same things that everyone in the culture already does, cause that's the way it's done. That's how to get popular. That's not an impact. That's becoming a chameleon.
Popularity is often the result of someone conforming. People like people that are similar to them, that don't challenge their ideas or "judge" them. Making an impact is very unpopular sometimes. Martin Luther King was killed. So was Lincoln. So were many popes. For that matter, so was God.
Conforming does not have to be to doing something that you don't like. Oh yes, you can like the thing that you're conforming to. You can like getting to see all of those cool movies or listening to that music, or going to that concert, but the fact of the matter is that we're called to something more.
I want to change the world. This weekend, I was presented with a choice. Go do something that I really wanted to do, or not do it and go for the greater good. The thing wasn't inherently bad. It even had some good parts. But when I looked at myself in real honesty, I knew that it would be an occasion of sin for me. I knew that, but I wanted to do it anyways.
So I'm not going to do it-- I'm gonna choose something different, something healthier. It's so hard to go beyond just being moral. To make an impact by being that one person who is different, who searches amid all of the muck in the world for that one bit of shine and beauty, for the great rather than the usual.
I'm not going to be popular because of these choices. But yesterday I was venting to my dad how much I hated conformism and settling for the normal, for the usual, and then I started doing the same thing and realized that I was being a hypocrite. Great move, me. I stopped partially because I felt guilty about it, but I guess that was one way that God showed me that I ought to stop.
So. Even when the situation's awfully dim and we feel that we should up and go with the other guy who's getting all the great stuff by conforming to the world, we should bite the bullet and say, "NO WAY!"
-Tina
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