I spoke to the manager of a Panera Bread about my application for a job there today. Relatively normal? Yes. Normal for me? No. I've never talked to a manager before or followed up a job opportunity seriously. It was kind of scary. Thinking of working there this summer is even more scary, but I want to do it.
The reason that I want to do it is because I want to embrace life and live it to the full. I am so bad at that from day to day. See, I've got these big dreams-- really huge dreams, actually, but I don't really do much with them. I do school, go on the computer, but I do not motivate myself to go above and beyond and seize the day. I want to be a screenwriter, but when do I write screenplays? Not so much.
This should change.
Seizing the day is not living in the normal. It's living for God and fulfilling your duties in life to the fullest, and appreciate everything you've got and every opportunity you've got when it's there by taking it. That's not to say to overwork yourself, but I'm more in danger of underworking myself, of not realizing my potential. Of not realizing my dreams.
There's another connection to my post title that I found this week, and I'd like to share it with you. It's a poem.
Dreamers
by Siegfried Sassoon
Soldiers are citizens of death's grey land,
Drawing no dividend from time's tomorrows.
In the great hour of destiny they stand,
Each with his feuds, and jealousies, and sorrows.
Soldiers are sworn to action; they must win
Some flaming, fatal climax with their lives.
Soldiers are dreamers; when the guns begin
They think of firelit homes, clean beds, and wives.
I see them in foul dug-outs, gnawed by rats,
And in the ruined trenches, lashed with rain,
Dreaming of things they did with balls and bats,
And mocked by hopeless longing to regain
Bank-holidays, and picture shows, and spats,
And going to the office in the train.
-------
It's a really sad poem. It is. It makes me cry. But it throws things in perspective. Soldiers dream of doing normal things, and you better believe that if they had the chance to be home instead of on the front lines in that horror, they would live their days to the full. I want to do that, to live like everything is precious.
I want to do more than just dream. I want to act.
-Tina
Friday, April 29, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
I just wanna sing and dance!
Welcome to another issue of My-Niece Whenever-There-Is-Something-Worth-Writing-About!
This week we've got a special treat for you guys-- Cinderella: Sophia Style.
The main characters?
The watcher of this scene promptly bursts out laughing, unable to contain herself any longer.
-Tina
This week we've got a special treat for you guys-- Cinderella: Sophia Style.
The main characters?
- 12 inch Barbie as the Stepmother
- 3 inch plastic doll as The Prince
- Fashion Polly Cinderella as Cinderella!
Sophia starts the action by acting out the prince; her mom acts the Stepmother and Cinderella. He finds Cinderella.
Prince: I'll jump you up on the pony!
Cinderella: Oh, how nice!
Prince: I'll see you at da ball!
Cinderella: ...I thought this was the ball.
Prince: When you hear the letter B, come to da ball!
Cinderella: Oh, ok. I'll go home now.
Cinderella goes home, but *gasp*, her stepmother finds her!
Stepmother: Cinderella, you still have to do the vacuuming and the cooking and the cleaning and all your work. Do it now!
Cinderella: Stepmother, I will, but the prince asked me to the ball and I want to go.
Stepmother: NO! I'll lock you in your room! Ha Ha Ha!
The stepmother locks Cinderella in her room, who cries for help for a few minutes but then falls silent.
Meanwhile, the prince goes to their accustomed meeting place. When he doesn't find her there, he breaks out into song:
"Cindoweeeeella! Cindoweeeella! Where are you? And we'll go to da ball and dance and find you...yeah, yeah, yeah, laaaaaaa....Cindoweeeeeellla!"
End of musical interlude.
The prince rushes to Cinderella's house to find her.
Prince: Where is Princowella? (Another word for cinderella, of course)
Stepmother: Cinderella? I don't know who you're talking about!
Prince: (momentarily confused) You know! Princowella! The one I'm gonna dance with at da ball!"
Stepmother: Oh, but I don't want you to dance with her! I want you to go to the ball with one of my own daughters!
(Brief pause while Sophia's mom tries to find girl dolls among the toys.)
Prince: (still confused) Princowella IS your daughter! You're her mothow!
Stepmother: (whilst still looking) No, she's my stepdaughter.
(Sophia's mum comes back with the perfect toy for her stepdaughter)
Anastasia:
The watcher of this scene promptly bursts out laughing, unable to contain herself any longer.
-Tina
Sunday, April 3, 2011
When You Come to Where You're Broken Within
Confession, as Catholics know the word, is not understood by most people in the world.
Really, Catholics are brought up with a mindset considered very strange. Most people don't like to be reminded that they were wrong. Even if some people are willing to admit their sin at the time it was committed, they don't want to remember it or talk about it. They want it blotted out, forever forgotten.
This impulse is natural, but Catholics make themselves remember their sins until confession, which is quite opposite from most people. We deliberately dredge up our faults from the dregs of our minds so that we can verbally confess them to the priest.
Most people shirk from both parts, for the following reasons. 1) Why do you want to keep going back to that awful thing you did, and 2) Why would you want to actually tell someone?
To the first, the benefit of remembering is very strong. If you are conscious that sin is wrong, and you are ashamed of doing it, you don't want to do it again, right? You cannot remember what you'd like to avoid doing if you can't remember what it is.
So WHY try to forget sins and sinful tendencies? To quote a book, "If there's a wasp in the room I like to be able to to see it," The natural conclusion to this is so that one can avoid the wasp. We want to know what our sins are so that we can be on the watch within ourselves for the problems that we have a tendency to fall into. That's the reason to examine and remember.
As for confessing, the genuine belief of Catholics is that God is acting through the priest. God is the one offended by our sins, so he's the one to apologize to. Therefore, if you take it that you are actually confessing to God when confessing to the priest, then we're verbally apologizing for our sins, for offending him.
Why not, though, just apologize to God silently, in a prayer in our heads?
Let’s give another example: why don’t we write someone a note to apologize for wronging them? Of course, we could. But isn’t the apology so much more tangible and personal when said face to face? And if the person has specifically asked for your apologies to come personally, then shouldn’t you oblige them if you’re really sorry?
Besides, what are we shying from in either instance? Embarrassment. An example here could be that we stole something from a person, and they haven’t noticed. It’s extremely embarrassing to let them know that we wronged them, and we wouldn’t look stupid if we just let sleeping dogs lie—but it’s the right thing to do to tell them. In the same way, we don’t want to tell someone else that we’ve messed up in confession. That’s not a good reason to forego apologizing, though.
So: the first step in apologizing is admitting to yourself that you were wrong, that your sin was wrong. The second is telling God so—admitting it to Him and apologizing.
That’s what the penitent’s side of confession is; apology. God’s side is forgiveness, and you know what is really marvelous? After we’ve confessed our sins, we can do what our instinct was to do all along: forget them. Why? Because God already did after giving His forgiveness.
-Tina
Really, Catholics are brought up with a mindset considered very strange. Most people don't like to be reminded that they were wrong. Even if some people are willing to admit their sin at the time it was committed, they don't want to remember it or talk about it. They want it blotted out, forever forgotten.
This impulse is natural, but Catholics make themselves remember their sins until confession, which is quite opposite from most people. We deliberately dredge up our faults from the dregs of our minds so that we can verbally confess them to the priest.
Most people shirk from both parts, for the following reasons. 1) Why do you want to keep going back to that awful thing you did, and 2) Why would you want to actually tell someone?
To the first, the benefit of remembering is very strong. If you are conscious that sin is wrong, and you are ashamed of doing it, you don't want to do it again, right? You cannot remember what you'd like to avoid doing if you can't remember what it is.
So WHY try to forget sins and sinful tendencies? To quote a book, "If there's a wasp in the room I like to be able to to see it," The natural conclusion to this is so that one can avoid the wasp. We want to know what our sins are so that we can be on the watch within ourselves for the problems that we have a tendency to fall into. That's the reason to examine and remember.
As for confessing, the genuine belief of Catholics is that God is acting through the priest. God is the one offended by our sins, so he's the one to apologize to. Therefore, if you take it that you are actually confessing to God when confessing to the priest, then we're verbally apologizing for our sins, for offending him.
Why not, though, just apologize to God silently, in a prayer in our heads?
Let’s give another example: why don’t we write someone a note to apologize for wronging them? Of course, we could. But isn’t the apology so much more tangible and personal when said face to face? And if the person has specifically asked for your apologies to come personally, then shouldn’t you oblige them if you’re really sorry?
Besides, what are we shying from in either instance? Embarrassment. An example here could be that we stole something from a person, and they haven’t noticed. It’s extremely embarrassing to let them know that we wronged them, and we wouldn’t look stupid if we just let sleeping dogs lie—but it’s the right thing to do to tell them. In the same way, we don’t want to tell someone else that we’ve messed up in confession. That’s not a good reason to forego apologizing, though.
So: the first step in apologizing is admitting to yourself that you were wrong, that your sin was wrong. The second is telling God so—admitting it to Him and apologizing.
That’s what the penitent’s side of confession is; apology. God’s side is forgiveness, and you know what is really marvelous? After we’ve confessed our sins, we can do what our instinct was to do all along: forget them. Why? Because God already did after giving His forgiveness.
-Tina
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