If I die young

What if I did? You know, I can say that "I could die tomorrow", but it never hits home for real. What if I was just gone? I'm only seventeen, and death seems so far away from me, like it's reserved for the old. I don't really think about it.

"If I die young,

Bury me in satin,

Lay me down on a bed of roses.

Sink me in the river

At dawn,

Send me away with the words

of a love song"

Life is precious. Strange, but I barely ever think of that life as extending after death. Yes, I believe that life should be preserved here on earth and that the right that babies and impaired people have to life should be protected. Yet death-- it's not so bad, is it? When you die, it's not a state of being. It's like a tunnel. Once your body dies, you-- not those around you-- will go through that door and I think that it won't be a long, extended ordeal. You'll go into a new state of being, a different kind of life.

"Lord, make me a rainbow;

I'll shine down on my mother"

I'm not obsessed with death, as you may have concluded from seeing that this and my last post are concerned with it. I've just heard a song by The Band Perry written from the perspective of one who could die and am reading a thought-provoking book called Choosing to See about how death affects those left behind. These things bring it more into my mind; the idea that I could be gone from here soon.

Gone. What if I was never on earth any more? I don't suppose I would mind, if I was in Heaven. The real question is if I think I've lived well and completely for God; if I would go to Heaven. Those who are Protestant, don't think I'm depressed about this. I'm trusting in God totally here. I'm not drawing it up that my works are the only things that give me my salvation. I believe that God had given me the way to get to Heaven by his death and it's my day-to-day living that presents me with choices, over and over, on whether to accept his gift or not.

What a gift. Yet if I die, did I truly do my best to accept it? I'd like to think so, but thinking of dying young makes me believe that every day counts. I want to live my life to the fullest and be completely for my God so that I'll get to Heaven and be filled as full of joy as possible. You know, people seem to say alot that if they knew such-and-so was going to die, they would have lived differently. I want to live differently today. It's gonna be hard, but I'm going to try anyways.

"Well, I've had just enough time"

-Tina