Sometimes I get that way. I'm tired, or things haven't gone how I've wanted them to go, or I was frustrated by something. This afternoon the fire alarm went off when I was studying at college in my favorite place, so I had to leave it and study in a cramped hallway. Then in French class my teacher went off about how it was relative if people should be conformist or nonconformist and if either of them actually had a solid definition. Then I wasn't done with school or piano because I'd had to study in the morning for a Biology test.
The thing that began to lift me out of my crankiness was when I was complaining that I was cranky and I wanted a hug, and my nephew came over and snuggled his head into my chest.
It was so sweet. A little corner of my hurting, cranky heart began to feel better.
So what now? I've known forever that I'm extremely rigid. That when things don't go just my way, or a normal way, I get out of sorts. I've known forever that I should change. Now I wonder, if I change, maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't get cranky because of these things. They would roll off my back, and I'd be able to smile through the rough parts.
That idea makes me smile. So I think I'll start trying to change. How? The best way I can think is to smile and stay happy and depending on God when the bad things happen. To consciously think, "I'm giving my studies to you, God. You'll help me get them done when they have to be done," when I get off track with schoolwork or am interrupted. To think, "Other people in the world think differently than me. Let me listen and take the good that I can from them, but depend on you for truth, God," when people are annoying and relative.
Then, you know what? Instead of being cranky and hating my night, I'll be able to say,
"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone."
1 comment:
:) love you teens
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